Mad As A Grandma

Grandma is pissed. Really pissed.

I couldn't sleep again last night, tossing and turning for at least an hour before I got up to get her a Breathe Right strip. And a sleeping pill for me. And unplug the computer, from which was emmenating the most hellish blue light.

I couldn't hear her snoring anymore, so I took out my earplugs twice and hugged her to make sure she was still alive. I think I scared the crap our of her jumping up and then coming at her like a wild howler monkey with that strip. 

But, I slept like a baby afterward. I woke up at 7 am and she wasn't there. I thought maybe she was in the bathroom. Then 8, still no Grandma. At 9 I started to worry, until she stalked into the room, mumbling something about being on the couch to my query about what was wrong. She then grabbed her toiletries and shut the door, a little hard, behind her.

Okay, so she's pissed. clearly.

There's nothing worse than making a cute little old white hair mad, and not knowing exactly what you did.

She comes back about an hour later. I ask her, again, what the problem is. I also ask her if she slept on the couch. She says she didn't sleep.

Great. So she's pissed and overtired.  

She says she can't help it if she snores. I tell her I know that, and that I slept fine when I came back -- she wasn't snoring anymore. She says that's because she didn't go back to sleep. She went and sat on the couch, dozing off around 6, she says, but waking at 7:30 and getting ready while she waited for someone to get up.

And, she reveals, I poked her.

Now I want to shoot myself.

I don't poke little old ladies. She insist that before I jumped up and slapped the snore-bashing strip on her nose, that I poked her hard in the ribs. I try and defend myself, telling her I must have been sleeping and that I would never do that on purpose.

I get out of bed and head for the bathroom, telling her to take a nap while I get ready and that she can get some sleep in the car.

This is going to take some serious sucking up to correct.

And it's raining again. Surprised?